Reflections from Self Discovery

I recently had the privilege of watching Chris Williamson live in London as part of his ‘Self Discovery’ tour with my brother. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Chris’s work yet as the host of the Modern Wisdom podcast, I’m about to introduce you to a world of interesting insights from some of the worlds brightest and most interesting humans. He has hosted guests of the likes of David Goggins, Dr Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris, Dr Andrew Huberman and more recently Matthew McConaughey. On top of the podcast, he has also been running a series of live shows called ‘Self Discovery’.

The live show was a mix of thought-provoking stories, actionable advice, plenty of moments that made me rethink the way I approach personal growth and jokes that would’ve enraged a more 'humorously fragile’ audience — but in this room, they landed like a charm.

To say that his show and podcast more broadly has had an immense influence on how I think and approach life would be an understatement and I owe much of my personal development to the conversations that he’s had on Modern Wisdom. So in this article, I’m going to share some of the most impactful reflections I’ve had from the show.

External Doubt

Given that the Modern Wisdom audience—much like my own—is deeply invested in personal development and the journey from a flawed past self to an enlightened, disciplined, and successful future self, it's no surprise that self-doubt often emerges as a challenge along the way. This theme featured prominently in the show, as doubt and uncertainty are inevitable companions for anyone striving to grow and transform.

In fact, one of the most impactful points that Chris mentioned during the show was the misconception that in the journey towards success, the conviction of those who reach it rarely falters. They set their mind to this righteous goal and their self-belief pushes them towards success despite any hiccups along the way. In reality, this is rarely the case. It is easy for those who have achieved success to portray a sense of certainty in their journey, but in truth, the journey for most will be full of self-doubt, uncertainty, unpredictability and no guarantee of any real payoff in the end. It is life’s big gamble. And this is the reason why it becomes much easier to fall back to the comfort of the person you used to be and why so few people are able to maintain a positive change.

Those unwilling to endure the discomfort of this transcendence of growth will often attempt to thwart your own progression, damage your self-belief more so than you inflict on yourself and attempt to convince you that your journey of progress is a futile one. This is where Chris shared a quote from an unlikely place that resonated far more than it should have: “Your boo’s mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer” from… Rick Sanchez (yes, that Rick from Rick and Morty).

Reflecting on this, I think the key takeaway is to realise that those who are most critical or eager to instil doubt in others often do so because they themselves are unable or unwilling to pursue the same ambitions. And this doubt frequently stems from a place of jealousy or insecurity. So ask yourself: Why take advice on where to travel from someone who’s never left home?

The Lonely Chapter

The so-called lonely chapter is something that Chris discusses in many of his podcast episodes and it’s a concept that I think many on their path from who they are to who they want to become will experience. So let’s quickly define what it represents. As you move on your journey of growth, and begin developing new habits and skills that improve your character, you may notice old friends — whose habits, motivations, or goals no longer align with yours — begin to drift away. However, you have not yet developed your character sufficiently to find your new group of people. This creates a valley of loneliness and uncertainty in your personal evolution. This is the lonely chapter and it’s a common step in the journey of most successful people.

This is something that I’ve dealt with after moving away from home in pursuit of opportunities and a career as a spacecraft engineer. But one of the things that hit me hardest during the live show was when Chris revealed the revelation that you may have to (and many people do) go through the lonely chapter multiple times during your life as you continually grow and develop your character.

But it made me realise that ‘loneliness’ isn't a sign of failure or isolation, but rather a natural byproduct of personal evolution, where each new phase of growth requires letting go of old versions of yourself, only to rebuild stronger connections along the way.

Do the Thing

It’s often the simplest pieces of advice that resonate the most with us. And sometimes, we may already know the advice deep down, but it takes someone with a microphone on a stage in front of 3,000 people to say it for it to really land. For me, this was one of those times. I’ve got a pretty bad habit of overthinking decisions (particularly big or important ones). I will spend hours thinking about how to begin a task or what task I can do next to make the most progress. While this sounds good in theory, in reality I end up wasting hours on this mentally exhausting task of trying to strategise doing ‘the thing’. Why this is, I’m not too sure. Perhaps it’s a fear of making a mistake, of wasting time going down the wrong direction of doing the thing, or some deep rooted perfectionism that’s saying “if you don’t set off down the right path, then you won’t achieve perfection”. Well that may be the case, but as I try harder to live by the principle of pursuing progress, not perfection, I begin to push against this perfectionistic thought rabbit hole.

So what was the piece of advice that Chris said that resonated so deeply with me? To paraphrase, something like this:

Thinking about doing the thing is not doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing is not doing the thing.

Telling yourself you’re going to do the thing is not doing the thing.

Telling others you’re going to do the thing is not doing the thing.

Waiting for the motivation to do the thing is not doing the thing.

Planning every step of the thing is not doing the thing.

Organising your workspace to do the thing is not doing the thing.

Going to the Self Discovery show is not doing the thing.

Reading articles on productivity is not doing the thing.

Actually doing the thing is doing the thing

It’s simple advice, but something that many people needed to hear. It’s great to stand at the base of a mountain imagining how amazing the view from the top is, but you’ll never see that view unless you take the first step.

Anxiety Cost

The final takeaway that I want to share in this article (although there’s plenty more that I could share) is something called the anxiety cost. Until I was introduced to this idea from the Modern Wisdom podcast, I struggled to put a name to this feeling I had most days. So what is the anxiety cost. Well suppose that you start the day with a list of things you have to do (these don’t necessarily need to be in the form of a to-do list - just tasks you have to accomplish during the day) and you leave them until later in the day to complete, then you will have to spend a longer portion of the day thinking or worrying about doing those things. This is the anxiety cost.

The solution? If instead you set a morning routine, you can then tackle some tasks early in the day without spending a significant amount of time ruminating on them. For example, let’s say that in a given day, you want to read 20 pages, meditate for 5 minutes, walk for 30 minutes, hit the gym and write for 1 hour (which I hope you agree are fairly reasonable tasks for a given day). Setting a morning routine where you wake up early, meditate for 5 minutes, head on a walk and spend time reading all before the day really begins, means that the only tasks remaining tasks to occupy your mind for the rest of the day are going to the gym and writing. And as a result, you’re far more likely to perform better at those important tasks without the worry of the other tasks which have already been completed.

The anxiety cost is the result of Parkinson’s law, which states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. Completing tasks earlier not only breaks Parkinson’s law but reduces the anxiety cost you pay for those tasks. I’ll admit that it’s not necessarily always easy to do, but believe me, when you start your day by completing several tasks in the morning, the rest of the day will become some of the most productive time you’ll experience!

Final thoughts

As you can imagine, I found the Self Discovery show to be deeply insightful and it has inspired me to reflect deeply on my values, choices, and the direction of my personal growth. If you ever have the opportunity to attend one of Chris Williamson’s shows in the future, I would highly recommend it. It’s an experience that not only challenges your perspective but also inspires meaningful change.